| Two Basic Sentence Styles Work
with one of your texts, building revised sentences out of
material you have already written. Notice the
different effects that these two different sentence
styles have.
- Paratactic (loose) sentence. Create
a deliberately long, narrative sentence,
exaggerating its loose, storylike quality. Put
the most important idea first. Add on as
much descriptive information as you can. Here's
an example, from Anne Lamott's
book, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on
Writing and Life:
I let my mind wander. After a
moment I may notice that I’m trying to decide
whether or not I am too old for orthodontia and
whether right now would be a good time to make a few
calls, and then I start to think about learning to
use makeup and how maybe I could find some boyfriend
who is not a total and complete fixer-upper and then
my life would be totally great and I’d be happy
all the time, and then I think about all the people I
should have called back before I sat down to work,
and how I should probably at least check in with my
agent and tell him this great idea I have and see if
he thinks it’s a good idea and see if he thinks
I need orthodontia—if that is what he is
actually thinking whenever we have lunch together.
- Periodic (deliberately structured) sentence.
Revise your paratactic sentence into a periodic
sentence, making its structure as tight and
deliberate as possible. Put the most important
idea last. Try to create some suspense, so that
the final element of the sentence is a surprise.
Notice how Lamott uses a more deliberate sentence
structure to make a different point about the
same topic:
So after I’ve completely
exhausted myself thinking about the people I most
resent in the world, and my more arresting financial
problems, and, of course, the orthodontia, I remember
to pick up the one-inch picture frame and to figure
out a one-inch piece of my story to tell, one small
scene, one memory, one exchange.
|